I’m even trained in tools to help people look at that kind of thing and reduce the power of the thoughts and feelings we run from … and still if I’m not conscious of them I avoid them. Only now when I realize I’m avoiding something am I able to purposefully look for the inner stuff so I can deal with it. Writing helps a lot.
And I agree, it’s a kind of mental muscle. I think it’s also training yourself to notice the cues. “Oh I meant to write that email yesterday. How come I didn’t? Maybe i’m avoiding something.”